Thursday, August 13, 2009

Hotel Confessional - {name redacted}

You can sorta see the moon, too!

So, I’ve arrived in Cleveland. All was well at first; the plane ride was nice, got my bag pretty quickly, got right into a cab with a nice, if not exhausted-looking, driver who had a thick accent, but spoke slowly and I could understand him. The drive to the hotel was nice, too. We don’t have a whole lot of multi-storey houses in Florida because of the storms and everything’s made of brick and is, to me anyway, visually interesting. Saw a couple of little Indians logos and not a palm tree in sight.

Then I got to the hotel.

My room. My view.

It’s bigger than I thought, but it was - is - pretty empty. I checked in early, 1:30 or so, but the lady at the front desk said that I was expected early so all was well. The lunch buffet closed at 2 so, if I hurried, I could get something to eat since I hadn’t really had anything since I woke up at 5 in the morning. I got my key and with a sigh of relief, I headed to the fourth floor and to my room...only to find that it hadn’t been cleaned yet.

Okay, that happens, but I’m travel-logged and hungry and really just wanted to get into my room and settle in. So, I schlep my stuff back down to the front desk and get a different room - computer glitch apparently - and schlep back up to the new assignment. It’s nice, not ginormous, but it’s ready for me and that’s fine. I look at the clock: 2:05. Okay, not a problem, this joint’s got restaurants and stuff so I’ll take pictures of my room, as I often do, and check everything out.

The restaurant closed for lunch at 2 and doesn’t open again until 5, but you can apparently order room service via the internet! Sweet, so I grab my laptop and try to log on...and it’s not working. I call their IT and they have no idea and then I call the front desk and they have no idea, either. As far as I know, there’s still no internet. Well, I’m not just hungry, I’m HONGRY by this point, but I don’t want to order Pizza Hut. I’m doing well with my weight and don’t want to kill it, so I go to check out the vending machine for like peanut butter crackers or something: coin operated and ancient. Doesn’t bode well for the machine’s contents. Okay, there’s a gift shoppe in the lobby! I’ll go see what they have! Now, the gift shop was open when I walked into the hotel. I know because I was there. But I went downstairs and there was a sign in the door: “CLOSED. WILL REOPEN AT 4:00pm.”

I sighed and trudged back up to my room where I looked at the Pizza Hut menu, the hours on which said open from 11:00am to 10:00 pm. So, I call the number, get the hotel restaurant and they say that Pizza Hut opens at 4. By this point, I’m freakin’ whiny, I’m hungry, I’m tired, and I feel grody after the flight. And it’s 3:30. In my best Cartman voice I said, “Screw you guys, I’m taking a shower!” I know, I could have just gotten a cab and gone to a restaurant, but I’m just not feeling it. There’s a restaurant in the hotel, you know? I’m tired and was looking forward to chillaxing in my room.

It’s 4:37 right now...just a few more minutes until I can get room service.

On the plus side, I’m on the same floor as the festival / convention so I don’t have to go far to get to where I’m going...and the air conditioning works...and I had a nice, long, kind of hot shower...and the mattress is nice and soft...and it’s nice out, even if I’m inside.

At least my mom got a good laugh out of it!

(This was posted at 5:59 pm and I'm about to go into a food coma. I'm not usually cranky if I haven't eaten, but today was all like, "Argh!")


Marvin the Martian said...

LOL, travel is ALWAYS that way... a series of frustrating happenstances. It gets to be a game after awhile.

Lori said...

Marvin: As it turns out, I started getting sick that first day, so I was just starting to feel ill, I was tired and hungry and slightly annoyed by the dirty I was exceedingly whiney. Otherwise, everything else in the hotel stay was fine! lol